Why You’re Frustrated With Your Natural Hair

Beautiful…I get frustrated too, so you’re not alone.  As loyal as I am to my natural hair, meaning a relaxer will not touch my hair again “by fire by force,” sometimes I can get so annoyed with it. From single strand knots to parched coils that refused to be quenched at times, I understand the frustration you’re feeling. It’s a universal feeling and I stand in solidarity with you. But why exactly are you frustrated?

1. You Have High Expectations

You expect too much from your natural hair. Now I’m not one to expect mediocrity and that’s not what I’m suggesting. But I am suggesting that it takes time for any routine, practice or system to be perfected. It takes trial and error, experimentation and creativity to break the ceiling of mediocrity. Without being philosophical, all I’m saying is to be patient with whatever is going on with your natural hair.

Youtube is a blessing for beginning your natural hair journey. You can learn about popular products, you can learn how to create different hair styles and you can learn different techniques for moisture retention and so forth. In the beginning, it provides a wealth of knowledge that can help jumpstart your natural hair journey. But after a while, I tend to think that the growth you’re experiencing from Youtube has reached its plateau. Now it seems like people use Youtube to compare themselves to others, which hinders the growth process. At times, we must seek other means to maintain progress.

2. You’ve Become Lazy With Your Routine

Let’s be honest, to maintain your natural hair is not the simplest of tasks. Your wash day can take hours, coupled with the stretch of time it takes to air dry natural hair without a layer of dampness. It can take all day from pre-poos to deep conditioning to styling. In the beginning of your natural hair journey, your enthusiasm for anticipated growth, fullness, strength, etc. gave you the momentum to stick to the lengthy process, experiment with different products and research best hair care practices like a boss. But now, you are looking for extended protective styles that are cute to wear for the whole summer. Your enthusiasm has waned because your hair growth has plateaued or life simply just happened.

However, in order to continue seeing the steady growth you were experiencing in the beginning, you have to be consistent. It sounds like a trivial solution, but it’s true. Consistency is the bedrock for perfected results. You have to stay diligent. Yes, it’s a lot of work. But that’s why some ladies see results and some don’t because some are making the sacrifice and some aren’t. Your natural hair will not look and feel the way you want it to, unless you consistently do what you have to, to achieve your hair goals.

3. You Haven’t Considered Praying For Your Hair


But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering.”

1 Corinthians 11:15

The Bible says that a woman’s long hair is her glory. So if you want long, strong natural hair, why not pray for it? Personally, I believe in praying about even the smallest details of life. That’s the beauty of having direct access to the Creator of all good things.

When I was relaxing my hair, I used to desire big textured hair. I was never a fan of bone-straight thin hair, which were the results I kept getting when I relaxed my hair. At the time, I didn’t know of any other option but a relaxer. I use to watch the show “Sister, Sister” and wished I could have that big texture hair. When the natural hair movement started to develop, I jumped on it before most people had a clue. Because I was ready for a change. Now, my natural texture is what I always desired and longed for, thick coily hair. My current hair texture is totally different from what I remember growing up with before the relaxers. I believe God saw my desire and gave me what I longed for.

Delight yourself in the Lord, And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart.”

Psalm 37:4

I truly believe that God is concerned about the details we’re concerned about in life. So why not talk to Him about the hair that He gave you. He can give you the wisdom you need to properly manage your hair type. This isn’t the first time He has done it. Madam C.J. Walker got the idea of starting a hair care line through her dreams, making her the first female millionaire in the U.S.

After watching this video here and here, I know I’m not the only one praying for my natural hair.

4. You Haven’t Mastered Moisture Retention

Moisture is bae for your natural hair. No seriously, it is. Your best friend and natural hair lover is moisture. It wants to stay bonded to your hair, but you refuse to consistently invite him in. Once you learn how to consistently retain moisture, your hair will be golden. At the very least, it won’t be breaking.

But, do you know what’s the best moisturizer to use? Water! Above every product on the shelf that claims to add moisture back to your dry damaged hair, it won’t top water. Of course, the water has to be sealed with a product like a basic oil, but water is the holy grail of all moisturizers. Your hair loves it. So find ways to add water to your hair daily, weekly, etc. to keep it hydrated and happy.

Your turn: What are other reasons why you’re frustrated with your hair?

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  • Reply You Know

    Who says moisture isn’t a she…

    September 21, 2017 at 9:57 PM
    • Reply Bisola

      LOL, not with it being so needy for my hair. Notice I didn’t say my hair is needy for it “bae.” We don’t promote desperation.

      September 25, 2017 at 6:01 PM

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