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My Birth Year Resolutions

My Birth Year Resolutions

People, people, people….yesterday was my birthday! I feel so blessed to be able to live through another year.  My birthday was saturated with a lot of love and I am grateful to have the kind of gems I have in my life.  As I turn another year older, I am soooo expectant of the wonderful things the new year has to offer. I’ve been contemplating what I should let go, keep and improve on, kind of like what I do when I clean out my closet, but this time it’s for my mind and soul. It’s easy to keep going, constantly moving, but it’s necessary to slow down and examine where our lives are going to make sure we keep improving and transforming into the awesomeness we are meant to be.

Like most people, I try to make New Year Resolutions in January. I aim at trying to accomplish all 50 of them and repeatedly only successfully accomplish about a third of my list each year. Often times, I feel unaccomplished, but because it is the thing to do, I start the whole cycle again the following year.  This time, I’m switching it up for my own good. I took the liberty to write my birth year resolutions instead. Each birthday is a new year for me. A personalized year to accomplish goals and improve on circumstances that are more meaningful to me.  Think about it. Most people set goals by the age. I want to accomplish this by 25, 30, 35 and so forth. So it makes since to set goals each year of life.

So here they are:

5 Birth Year Resolutions

 But first

[Insert Cute Birthday Photo Below]:

Love my yellow caftan!

Love my yellow caftan!

1.  Embrace My Femininity

Ok, I already do this (my favorite color is blush pink…need I say more), but I have to own it now. Growing up, I was tomboyish. I would never wear skirts, I thought I looked weird in them, so being comfortable with who I was, was a process.  I love dresses and skirts now, but there is more than that. The older I get the more I believe in establishing traditional gender roles.  I’m over the whole “I can do everything a man can do” feminist speech. I actually don’t want to do everything men do.  Have you smelled them after they do what they do? I’ll pass. I want my door to be opened. I want heavy things to be lifted for me and I want my dinner paid for.

Recently, a male friend told me he thinks I’m “interesting,” his way of politely saying I have conflicting beliefs. On the one hand, I’m striving to be a #girlboss, but on the other hand, I believe a husband should be the provider for his family. There isn’t any controversy.  There are modern-day and biblical examples of women who are able to balance having a good career or owning a business and still being domesticated.  Just look at the likes of June Ambrose , a successful stylist who prides herself in being a #rockmomchronicles, and the Proverbs 31 woman, a woman who wakes up early to prepare food for her family and even her maids than tends to her vineyard and textile business…it’s definitely possible.

2. Be More Diligent

When I say this people look at me with confusion, but I’m serious when I say I need to be more diligent. I’m not trying to be an overachiever at all.  It’s too exhausting to OVERachieve, I just want to achieve what I’m suppose to achieve and leave the rest for others to accomplish. However, I’m not there yet. Honestly, I put up a good front. I hide behind a cloud of supposed diligence, but I have the tendency to be lazy and give in to it more often than I want to.  So, this year, I’m making more of an effort to actually work through my goals and progress.

3.  Be Less Independent

A couple of years ago, when I was bright- eyed and bushy-tailed about life and what it had to offer the adult me, I would have never admitted this. I was Miss Independent. Extremely happy being a loner and doing most things on my own, but then I started to break down. I was doing too much on my own and I became frustrated.  No one is created to do anything completely on their own.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Where there is no counsel, the people fall;                                                                                                                                        But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)

There are times, when a goal can’t be accomplished without a person’s help. Like knowing a person within a company who can push your resume to the top of the pile, or calling a couple of friends who can help you move to your next apartment for the umpteenth time, or being totally caught off guard when your friends ambush you with a “Happy Birthday” sing-along at midnight on the day of your birthday (thanks guys!). See…I can’t be selfish and stubborn by trying to live without help or resources from others. God uses others to bless me and me to bless others. Iron sharpens iron.

4.  Stop Complaining

I complain a lot. I like things to be done perfectly and efficiently and that rarely, if at all, happens, so I complain about it, but complaining is annoying. It doesn’t solve anything and it doesn’t get the job done. Point. blank. period. So I must make an effort to stop, so I can get to solving the issues that I need to solve in my life. By trusting and doing, not complaining.

5.  Accept Spontaneity

I am a highly structured person, at times. I like to plan, plan some more, make lists, and fall into some kind of routine. I don’t like to veer off track from what I have planned. However, the older I get the more I realize that some of the precious moments in life happen when there are pit stops along the way. God is the ultimate planner and His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I just have to learn to accept this fact (without complaining) to enjoy the ride.

 

What are some of your birth year resolutions?

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2 Comments

  • Reply Stephanie Anyadike

    My birthday is not until SEVERAL months away.. but the new years is here and here are MY revolutions
    1. Be more INDEPENDENT – Its interesting that you say that yours is the complete opposite. I assume that’s just the way the cookie falls in terms of our own life experiences, but I have a tendency to get comfortable. Moving back ‘home’.. to Maryland I’ve started to realize or even question if this is really where I’m meant to settle. I want to be able to have my own place, make decisions on my own and be okay with that knowing that I did it. Yeah, of course I may make mistakes on the way, but these are the things you not only learn from but its assists us in growing into more mature adults

    2. Be HAPPY in myself (and others) – For too long I’ve compared my path to those of others. And would get side-tracked, discouraged and bitter when ‘my story’ wasn’t as amazing as the next. I’ve come to realize this type of attitude is not healthy one bit. Everyone has their own unique path and purpose, and its truly unfair to myself and God to carry out this way of thinking. I have to CHOOSE happiness regardless of what state I’m currently in.

    3. Take RISKS – I’m also the planner type. I like knowing that things are organized and that there is a logical next step in any decision I make. Unfortunately, life has is otherwise. I learned recently nothing good necessarily comes out of comfort, and often the greatest stories are from those that took the plunge not knowing what was going to happen next. From meeting new people, seeing new places and experiencing new things.. I hope I can say I took risks in this upcoming year. YIKES – I put it out into the atmosphere.. now I have to be accountable to these things!

    November 9, 2015 at 11:27 AM
    • Reply Bisola

      1. I think independence definitely is necessary at certain stages in life. When I graduated from law school I moved back home for a couple of years before I moved out on my own. It got to a point where I needed my own space to think and explore freely. While exploring I took on too much at times, trying different things until I started to settle in my niche and calling.

      2. I’m glad you have decided to choose happiness, it the only true route to take.

      3. I’m holding you accountable. Take those risks! The worst thing that can happen is that you would have to learn from your mistake and the best thing is that you would learn from your success. Either way one thing is constant, you will keep learning, developing and improving. Not so bad huh.

      November 10, 2015 at 2:11 AM

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