How To Be Confident Around Beautiful People


Asiyami Gold & Friends

Photo via: Asiyami Gold

I’m blessed. I’m surrounded by friends who are both beautiful on the inside and the outside. My friends have melanin in different shades and they appear to be always on top of their beauty and style game. Me on the other hand, some days I feel like I’m putting my best foot forward, my coils are poppin’, my OOTD is in the running for the “Best Look of The Week” credits and my best feature, my smile, is constantly on display. Then there are other days when I feel inferior to my friends. It’s as if, they are experiencing majestic hair & style moments and I’m just their frumpy sidekick.

My personal style is a bit different than most of them. I have coined my style as organically polished. I’d rather spend more time maintaining the quality of my natural beauty than to overly enhance it with too many products that seem to mask who I am. However, this organic rebellion, sometimes, makes me feel under-dressed, underdone and underrepresented. I begin to feel a bit insecure until I realize that everyone has their own unique beauty to offer the world. I try to focus on who I am and not compare, while incorporating beauty practices that help me stay confident in my own skin.

1. Hold Your Head Up High

Regardless of how you look, true confidence can only be established from within.  There are a lot of beautiful people who see a different image when they look in the mirror. Including your friends, at times. Everyone has good days and bad days. Some more than others. But confidence can be learned and practiced. The first thing you can do is to keep that pretty head of yours up. Even if your outfit is “minimalist” today, embrace it with confidence. You may have been too busy to tackle your overflowing laundry basket last weekend, but you can still walk around with your head up and a smile. You are a fabulous person regardless of what you put on your body. I’m not saying come out of the house with tattered clothes, you need to still look presentable, but you don’t have to wear Louboutin either. Yes, clothes can be an expression of your personality, but it doesn’t have to be an expression of your joy.

2. Change Your Perspective

If you believe that you’re beautiful you will be beautiful. Have you ever seen a woman that may not be conventionally attractive to some, but people seem to love being around her anyway? It’s probably because she has determined in her mind that she is just, as beautiful as, anyone else and that aura exudes around her. You become what you think. That’s the law of attraction. You have to change your mindset and perspective to become who you really want to become. Remember, even top models don’t feel their best everyday and quite frankly may not look their best after the makeup, the extensions and the expensive clothes comes off. Instead of trying to create a persona that requires too much effort for you to maintain, focus on being the best you, organically. If you can’t stand trying to put your makeup on for an hour than don’t try to. If you enjoy it, then go for it. Just work on being the best you whichever way that comes naturally.

3. Wear Your Favorite Scent Often

Personally, I try to wear a favorite scent or fragrance daily.  It helps me feel beautiful when I smell beautiful. Olfactory senses can play a major role in setting your mood and confidence. Have you ever smelled peppermint and remembered a special moment during the holidays? When I smell Cashmere by Donna Karan, I remember my mom, because that’s what she wore when I was younger. If you have a signature scent, wear it often. If you don’t, get one immediately. It doesn’t have to be expensive. One of my favorite scents is Femme from Zara. It’s a feminine and soft scent that makes me feel beautiful every time I get a whiff of it.

4. Elevate Your Skin Care Routine

In this era of contouring and highlighting, we can forget to take care of the largest organ on our bodies, our skin. As I mature, taking care of my skin has become more of a priority to me than slathering on layers of makeup to cover problem areas on my skin. Recently, I’ve been researching how to tighten my large pores and maintain soft supple skin. Most of us have one or two skin issues we would like to improve upon. Having clear, bright and glowing skin, naturally, can do more for your confidence than taking an hour trying to cover it up. Create a routine that allows your skin to become its best. Perfect your cleansing and moisturizing routine. Learn which overnight serums would be great to use to help improve your skin texture. Learn to let your skin breathe at times. Try to be awake half a day without makeup. Take baby steps if that seems too scary by going to the grocery store without makeup. You might notice that the guy in the produce section still gave you a second look, without your makeup. That can definitely be a confidence booster.

5. Perfect Your Hair Regime

If you’re like me, you’re still trying to perfect your natural hair regime to get consistent coils. The problem is, unlike my friends, I don’t tend to experiment too much with wigs, weaves and extensions. It’s not that I don’t like them, but it can be high maintenance. The process of cornrowing my hair down and finding the perfect non-wiggy looking wig can be a hassle. I’d rather learn what works for me using what I’ve grown naturally. This can make my style unpredictable at times. My coils sometimes have attitudes. So, to keep a consistent natural pretty look, I’ve tried to perfect my regime by researching and testing products. If you have super dry hair, learn how to master moisturizing it well. If you have weak brittle hair, develop a protein treatment regime that will keep your hair healthy and strong. Just learn to take care of what you already have. Even if it stays underneath a wig. Having strong, healthy, shiny natural hair can really boost your confidence level. Soon your friends will be asking you for your hair secrets and you can confidently explain how you achieved it.

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