So Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and people are thinking about relationships. Whether they are in one and want to stay, or they want to go or they just want to be in one, relationships are on people’s minds. It’s been on my mind too. Just in a different way. I’m going to rant just a bit. I apologize in advance.
One thing I detest hearing from a woman as she’s waiting for her Boaz or Jacob (that’s another post) is that it’s hard to find a good man because men have so many options. I understand the statistics, there are more educated women than men, that don’t already have babies, not in jail, God-fearing, etc. But do men really have more options? How do you define options? How does he define options?
I think what a lot of men fail to realize is that they don’t have as many options as they think for a wife. From a man’s perspective, what are his options? She’s pretty, educated, family-oriented, have a nice figure and can cook. If that alone is what he’s aspiring to marry, then I wish him well and will pray for his future. Because his future looks unpredictable. This is basic level. There are too many women that fit these criteria, so how do you know that the one you chose will be able to stay married to you for the next 50 years? Now, if God is choosing for you, He definitely doesn’t have 10 women lined up for the guy to try. God loves His daughters too much for that type of heartache. The Bible says,
“He who finds a wife, finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.”
Men! The Bible doesn’t say “he who finds a good thing, finds a wife.” There is a difference. Every good woman you come across may not be good for you. Yes, she is good, but she can’t be wifey good to every man she encounters. The woman you choose is supposed to align with the vision and goals you have for your life and vice versa. If you aspire to own a multi-billion dollar company, but your woman thinks you’re wasting your time with your side hustle, then she may not be your wife. If you love to travel, but your woman is comfortable not leaving her county, then she may not be your wife. A wife is designed to be a helpmate. If she’s not helping you now with achieving your goals, how will she help you in marriage?
There comes a time in a man’s life when he meets a woman that confuses him, challenges him, ignites a desire and inspires him.*Hint *Hint: She may be the one. Not too many women can influence all those emotions in every man. Usually, this woman has qualities and traits he himself is either struggling with or is looking to develop. The man and woman’s characters will balance each other. This woman brings him value. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of men, fellow friends, pass up on women that were a challenge to obtain, but added so much value to their lives. She usually understands her self-worth, so she expects more, desires more and usually has set boundaries that restrict his strategies at times. He gives up too easily and goes after the woman who requires him to do less. In fact, the woman prefers he doesn’t grow past his current stage because she can’t conceptualize a better person. She has no vision.
Honestly, I believe a man can’t fully become all he was created to become without marrying a woman that adds specific value. That value becomes the favor of God. He will be able to accomplish more with her by his side. The two, both man and woman of value, will together be able to conquer challenges, victoriously.
Women! Stop saying men have options as if you aren’t as precious or as valuable because statistically there are more women than men. Just focus on being the best person you can be and trust God. The bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh will come. He will recognize your specific value and treasure you. Sometimes, you have to wait longer than expected, because men get confused sometimes (that’s why they need us to help…you see?). But don’t fret the right man will be worth the wait. Trust God on that.