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July 2015

    My Birth Year Resolutions

    My Birth Year Resolutions

    People, people, people….yesterday was my birthday! I feel so blessed to be able to live through another year.  My birthday was saturated with a lot of love and I am grateful to have the kind of gems I have in my life.  As I turn another year older, I am soooo expectant of the wonderful things the new year has to offer. I’ve been contemplating what I should let go, keep and improve on, kind of like what I do when I clean out my closet, but this time it’s for my mind and soul. It’s easy to keep going, constantly moving, but it’s necessary to slow down and examine where our lives are going to make sure we keep improving and transforming into the awesomeness we are meant to be.

    Like most people, I try to make New Year Resolutions in January. I aim at trying to accomplish all 50 of them and repeatedly only successfully accomplish about a third of my list each year. Often times, I feel unaccomplished, but because it is the thing to do, I start the whole cycle again the following year.  This time, I’m switching it up for my own good. I took the liberty to write my birth year resolutions instead. Each birthday is a new year for me. A personalized year to accomplish goals and improve on circumstances that are more meaningful to me.  Think about it. Most people set goals by the age. I want to accomplish this by 25, 30, 35 and so forth. So it makes since to set goals each year of life.

    So here they are:

    5 Birth Year Resolutions

     But first

    [Insert Cute Birthday Photo Below]:

    Love my yellow caftan!

    Love my yellow caftan!

    1.  Embrace My Femininity

    Ok, I already do this (my favorite color is blush pink…need I say more), but I have to own it now. Growing up, I was tomboyish. I would never wear skirts, I thought I looked weird in them, so being comfortable with who I was, was a process.  I love dresses and skirts now, but there is more than that. The older I get the more I believe in establishing traditional gender roles.  I’m over the whole “I can do everything a man can do” feminist speech. I actually don’t want to do everything men do.  Have you smelled them after they do what they do? I’ll pass. I want my door to be opened. I want heavy things to be lifted for me and I want my dinner paid for.

    Recently, a male friend told me he thinks I’m “interesting,” his way of politely saying I have conflicting beliefs. On the one hand, I’m striving to be a #girlboss, but on the other hand, I believe a husband should be the provider for his family. There isn’t any controversy.  There are modern-day and biblical examples of women who are able to balance having a good career or owning a business and still being domesticated.  Just look at the likes of June Ambrose , a successful stylist who prides herself in being a #rockmomchronicles, and the Proverbs 31 woman, a woman who wakes up early to prepare food for her family and even her maids than tends to her vineyard and textile business…it’s definitely possible.

    2. Be More Diligent

    When I say this people look at me with confusion, but I’m serious when I say I need to be more diligent. I’m not trying to be an overachiever at all.  It’s too exhausting to OVERachieve, I just want to achieve what I’m suppose to achieve and leave the rest for others to accomplish. However, I’m not there yet. Honestly, I put up a good front. I hide behind a cloud of supposed diligence, but I have the tendency to be lazy and give in to it more often than I want to.  So, this year, I’m making more of an effort to actually work through my goals and progress.

    3.  Be Less Independent

    A couple of years ago, when I was bright- eyed and bushy-tailed about life and what it had to offer the adult me, I would have never admitted this. I was Miss Independent. Extremely happy being a loner and doing most things on my own, but then I started to break down. I was doing too much on my own and I became frustrated.  No one is created to do anything completely on their own.

    “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

    Where there is no counsel, the people fall;                                                                                                                                        But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)

    There are times, when a goal can’t be accomplished without a person’s help. Like knowing a person within a company who can push your resume to the top of the pile, or calling a couple of friends who can help you move to your next apartment for the umpteenth time, or being totally caught off guard when your friends ambush you with a “Happy Birthday” sing-along at midnight on the day of your birthday (thanks guys!). See…I can’t be selfish and stubborn by trying to live without help or resources from others. God uses others to bless me and me to bless others. Iron sharpens iron.

    4.  Stop Complaining

    I complain a lot. I like things to be done perfectly and efficiently and that rarely, if at all, happens, so I complain about it, but complaining is annoying. It doesn’t solve anything and it doesn’t get the job done. Point. blank. period. So I must make an effort to stop, so I can get to solving the issues that I need to solve in my life. By trusting and doing, not complaining.

    5.  Accept Spontaneity

    I am a highly structured person, at times. I like to plan, plan some more, make lists, and fall into some kind of routine. I don’t like to veer off track from what I have planned. However, the older I get the more I realize that some of the precious moments in life happen when there are pit stops along the way. God is the ultimate planner and His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I just have to learn to accept this fact (without complaining) to enjoy the ride.

     

    What are some of your birth year resolutions?

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    Found in Translation: GODWIN

    GodWin

    During the recent Nigerian Presidential elections, Korede Bello came out with a catchy song titled “GodWin,” which not only became the unofficial presidential campaign song for supporters on both sides, but also a personal motto for challenging difficult life situations and ushering in victories. This song reminds me that regardless of the circumstances that may surround me at any given time, my God has a divine plan and purpose for my life and by His grace it will be fulfilled, because ultimately God Wins.

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    Advice on How to Become a Successful #GirlBoss

    Image Via: SS Print Shop

    Image Via: SS Print Shop

    Entrepreneurship can be enticing.  Especially, for a young Nigerian-American professional like myself. There has to be something embedded in Nigerian culture that promotes and encourages entrepreneurship even while still working a 9-5, because there is a lot of us!  The concept of creating a business from your own ideas and visions can be exciting. We don’t have to wake up super early to take a 45 minute train ride into the city to sit behind a desk doing work that we partially enjoy for bosses that try to engage their employees for better work-life balance, but succumb to profit margins and bottom-lines more often than not.  Yeah, entrepreneurship sounds like it should be our next move, Ms. Young Professionals, a.k.a Aspiring #Girlboss but should it be our next move?  It was for me.

    After practicing law for some time and feeling like the scenario above, I sought for a creative outlet and started blogging and designing for a boutique event planning and decor company.  It was one of the best decisions I made for my career, so far. From that experience, I had the confidence to start styling my friends’ social events, take a graphic design class and start my own blog. Honestly, I’m still learning how to become a successful #Girlboss.  It requires a lot of diligence, perseverance and consistency.  Sometimes, I’m lacking in one area or the other, but I keep pressing forward.  I’m not totally self-employed, but I’m heading in that direction and I’ve picked up some good advice along the way.

    I’m constantly seeking advice and reading testimonials on how other inspiring women have been able to create a successful business.  Even though I pay more attention to the creative and marketing industries, search for women in your career’s industry to see what their process was like.  Read about how successful #Girlbosses were and have been able to do it. Hopefully, it will inspire you to make the best decision for you.

    Inspiring #Girlbosses

    Jacqueline Nwobu – Munaluchi Bride

    Stephanie Sterjovski – SS Print Shop

    Joy Cho – Oh Joy!

    Maya Washington – Shameless Maya

    Mimi Ikonn – Mimi Ikonn

     Who is your favorite #Girlboss?

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    Dear Future Husband: Did My Mom/Aunty/Churchmember Send You?

    Dear Future Husband

    Them: “Bisola…there is a guy that told me he is interested in you.”

    Me: “Oh, really?”

    Them: “Yes, I told him to contact you on Facebook, since you’re so picky, I don’t want you embarrassing me by rejecting him in his face.”

    Me: “Picky?” “I will be committing myself to my husband for the rest of my life.” “If I were ever to be picky, shouldn’t it be for marriage?”

    Sometimes, I cringe when someone tells me that they want to introduce me to someone. It’s not like I don’t appreciate their concern, but honestly is it that serious! Every breathing Nigerian male that is above the age of 30 and says he goes to church can not all be my future husband.  And when I see, hear, smell some of these “potentials” … chai! Mommy/Aunty/Churchmember I’m wondering whether you even know me. Do I look like I’m suffering, because I’m single? No, seriously do I? Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure God knows the best time for me to enter into a marriage covenant.  Right now, my purpose is calling and he doesn’t like me being late.

    How do you react when EVERYBODY feels like they found your husband?

     

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    Spring/Summer Jumpsuits

    During the spring & summer, because there are so many activities going on, I find myself needing to quickly get dressed more often than not.  To do this without sacrificing my style, I prefer to wear easy breezy one-piece clothing options. Jumpsuits are my ideal style choice. They lengthen my frame and make me look pulled together and polished without much effort and now that the 70’s inspired culottes are in trend, the shorter version is great for petite ladies who love the one-piece style too.

    Summer Jumpsuits

    1.  Cameo Wild World Belted Jumpsuit

    2. River Island Black Print Strappy Cropped Jumpsuit

    3. Cameo Power Trip Culotte Jumpsuit

    4. Lulus Print-cess Chic Grey Plaid Strapless Midi Jumpsuit 

    5. Manarola Silk Petite Jumpsuit

    6. Sam Edelman Sleeveless Jumpsuit 

     

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